Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were.

The first man was an Engineer.
The second man was an Accountant.
The third man was a Chemist.
The fourth man was a Government Employee.

To show off, the Engineer called his cat, ‘T-square, do your stuff.’ T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle.

Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.

But the Accountant said his cat could do better. He ordered his cat,‘Spreadsheet, do your stuff.’ Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies.

Everyone agreed that was good.

But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said, ‘Measure, do your stuff.’ Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces into the glass without spilling a drop.

Everyone agreed that was pretty good.

Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, ‘What can your cat do?’

The Government Employee called his cat and said, ‘Coffee Break, do your stuff.’

Coffee Break jumped to his feet….Ate the cookies…Drank the milk…Defecated on the paper…Screwed the other three cats…Claimed he injured his back while doing so…Filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions…Put in for Workers Compensation…and took the day off using ‘sick leave’…

And that my friends is why everyone wants to work for the government!

Borrowed from here.

Rumors tonight – remember…rumors – indicate the following:

• An unconstitutional dissolution of Parliament for two years.

• The merging of both Crown Prince and Prime Minister’s positions.

Discuss.

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (Peace Be Upon Him) said that Allah the Almighty said:

There are three whose adversary I shall be on the Day of Resurrection: a man who has given his word by Me and has broken it; a man who has sold a free man and has consumed the price; and a man who has hired a workman, has exacted his due in full from him and has not given him his wage.

Related by al-Bukhari (also by Ibn Majah and Ahmad ibn Hanbal).

“Look I am a Blogger! Here’s proof – a picture of my sandwich!”

Somehow, Amer the owner of this blog is convinced that I can put together a useful post which will be hosted here. The gentleman has left it open to what topic I would like to address, which is kind of him and very Democratic.

I tried to dodge the issue of blogging for sometime now and protested that I only type with two fingers, which is rather silly of anyone to comment on their fingers because even with a single finger you may cause a lot of mayhem – as witnessed many times over in fights caused by the simple gesture of pointing. This discussion whether to blog or not took place on the pages of Intlxpatr’s blog – She is one kind lady who also posts on this ‘Diwaniya’.

I had to think of how to get out of this fix rather quickly, lucky for me we were commenting on a post concerning abused ‘poor guest workers’ here in Kuwait (You always have to say ‘poor guest workers’ otherwise you don’t sound liberal or kind hearted enough, although the ‘poor guest worker’ was a party to the corruption to begin with when he/she paid bribes to come over).

So quickly I hit upon a scheme that will save me from this troublesome task. It is very simple; I will just have to hire a poor foreign laborer who can do the blogging for me.

When you think about it, it really does make sense. The poor soul will earn extra dinars for his services, the job offers flexible hours so the hired hand can blog from his office during working time, which means he takes revenge on his employers while he lines his own pockets. The Rent-A-Blogger idea also unleashes the talents that we were promised here in Kuwait when we hired the guest workers to begin with but have not yet discovered hidden talents – a quick proof of that is how many million of Expats came to Kuwait or the Gulf area and wrote a worthwhile book that made it on any best seller list anywhere in the past 10 years – or lets make it easier in the 20 – 30 years? Answer is none!.

Another compelling reason for hiring a surrogate blogger that’s it doesn’t conflict with a tradition long established in the local printed media, used by talentless hacks who want to be famous by hiring ghost writers to write up some hefty articles in their name; this is quite popular with some ladies who want to be looked upon as ‘poets’ or ‘novelists’.

Although the Rent-A-Blogger will be instructed not to write anything relating to politics, sex or religion, should anything go wrong with the blog, then simply I will dump everything on the head of the poor sod and hopefully get away with it.

Now if you think what I said is horrible then I am afraid I have more bad news for you: surrogate or ghost laborers have extended their services to the ‘local Art scene’, many so-called painters are hiring them to do paintings for them, not one or two paintings but a whole exhibition. I have this bit of information from a local starving artist who is living now on cigarettes and pistachios only.

“Please merge them Sire.”

If the government’s idea for avoiding future political turmoil consists of the reunification of the Crown Prince and Prime Minister positions (again) than they are even more brilliant than I thought.

Who are their political advisors, Pee Wee Herman, Gallagher and Carrot Top?

كثر في الآونة الأخيرة تداول مصطلح”الناشط السياسي” ، أي نشاط هذا بدون سيرة ذاتية تذكر لتعرفنا بك أيها الناشط السياسي المبجل؟ كفانا استهتار باستخدام مسميات لأشخاص أقل قيمة من هذا المسمى.المسألة باتت سهلة جدا لاستخدام مسميات بهذا الشكل فكل ما عليك هو أن تكون لديك علاقة هنا وهناك بإحدى أصحاب شركات الرسائل القصيرة والتي ترسل عبر الهاتف النقال لنقل الأخبار المحلية “والتي يفترض أن تكون صادقة”، لتضع قبل إسمك “ناشط سياسي خطير”.الكل يريد التلميع أما مصلحة البلد فهي بعرض الحائط، بالكويتي “يالله نفسي”. ويا لكثر الإشاعات خلال هذه الفترة العصيبة التي تمر على بلدنا الغالي، فالحرص يا شعبنا الكريم من تداول تلك الإشاعات المغرضة والتي تؤدي نتيجة تداولها إلى تفككنا وضرب وحدتنا الوطنية.
والله ولي التوفيق

Saleh Al Falah

Since this is the first post of many posts (InshAllah), I hope that it will be short and sweet. This post is dedicated to all KSE traders and investors.

Let us begin…

When Mr. Saleh Al Falah took over the reigns of KSE’s management a few years ago, a number of distinguished eyebrows were raised as a result since his predecessor was known to be very lenient with KSE’s big players and a number of rules were bent for their sake. It became obvious that Mr. Al Falah came with an iron fist and refused to cave in to pressure from the fat cats of Kuwait Stock Exchange.

The first signs of trouble were evident when many shareholders failed to disclose their ownership in a transparent manner. Mr. Al Falah swiftly ordered the suspension of all ownership rights of those shares for a predefined period of time. Many large shareholders caused quite a stir, a number of lawsuits followed. When many unlisted companies were refused listing in the market, the public campaign against Mr. Al Falah intensified. We kept hearing about the ’61 companies’ bloc’ which increased to 76 companies, they were very loud with their demands.

We must also keep in mind the major role the media played during this debacle. The demands of disgruntled companies had huge coverage with many thick columns being allocated to their cause. What we saw was akin to propaganda since most of the newspapers are owned by KSE investors or have close ties with them. A number of press conferences were held by Mr. Al Falah but they failed in changing public opinion.

The media somehow forgot to mention the many virtues that Mr. Al Falah possessed. He was the official demanding more information, more transparency from companies when they announced results. In the past, it was enough to just announce the net profit and unrealized gain/loss but now we find dealings with related parties. Recently, a mini balance sheet is required – which included current and non-current assets and liabilities as well as stockholders’ equity. I think this is a very good move since it takes ages for companies – after announcing their results – to publicly to release their statements.

During Al-Falah’s tenure, announcement deadlines were set for listed companies (within 45 days) after the end of each quarter. We had instances in the past where some companies delayed announcing their yearly results for months. Huge and unnecessary capital increases are also frowned upon; if companies decided to increase their capital without providing economically viable reasons, then trading of its shares would be suspended for a whole year.

When unusual trading revolves around certain stock, KSE would stop trading to check if there was any insider information, if that was the case then all trades on that company would be canceled. ‘Wataniya Telecom’ was a prime example of that. With regards to the listing, or otherwise, of Kuwaiti companies in the stock market, I think the refusal of some of the companies is of greater benefit to investors in the long term.

I do believe, however, that some of the allegations forwarded by certain companies do have some truth. One example being KSE has complete rights to refuse a company listing without offering any reasons to the company – this is wrong. Even if the owners of the company are aware of the reasons, the poor investors know nothing. KSE must publicly issue the reason behind the refusal so that everyone is informed.

Another incident during Al Falah’s leadership was when KSE threatened to suspend trading if the owners went ahead with the merger between ‘Jeezan Holding’ and ‘Kuwait Holding’. ‘Kuwait Holding’ was refused listing in the market, reasoning being due to the merger – ‘Kuwait Holding’ could have been listed in an indirect way anyway. KSE’s reasons might have been valid but the threat of suspension came at a very, very late stage.

Despite his flaws, I think that Saleh Al-Falah is really the man capable of guiding the Kuwait Stock Market to the next level. I think that the main reasons behind the campaign to replace Mr. Al Falah was due to the fact that many juggernaut companies were used to preferential treatment and had difficulty adjusting to the new realities concerning transparency guidelines.

During this ongoing financial meltdown we detect a deafening silence from the ‘opposition party’ since they have problems of their own that need immediate attention. I just hope that when the crisis is over, they won’t revert back to attacking Mr. Al Falah.

PS. At the outset of this piece, I said that it would be short and sweet. Apparently, I failed miserably at both! 🙂

نبارك للسيد/خالد الفضالة التزكية التي حظى بها بتنصيبه أمينا عاما للتحالف الوطني، كما نبارك لمن تم انتخابهم بالمكتب التنفيذي أيضا ونتمنى لهم كل التوفيق …ولكن..يجب أن تكون هذه الدورة والتي تمتد مدتها لسنتين أن تتصافى النفوس وأن يكون الهدف المنشود تجميع الرموز والشباب الوطنيين تحت مظلة هذا التحالف وأن لا يكون الغرض منه فقط الدفاع لأناس أهدافهم كانت شخصية نوعا ما…كما يجب ان يسود عملهم القادم الشفافية أكرر الشفافية وبعيدا عن الغموض الذي كان يدار به التحالف بالسابق
والله ولي التوفيق

Who says Kuwait isn’t a vanguard of development and progress anymore? World’s Longest Shish Tawouk Cooked In Kuwait.

Now if we could only cook up ‘Jaber Hospital’ for starters (I think the project has been in the ‘marinating’ stage for three years).